'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Also, beer. Big fan.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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