i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
