yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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