As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
