I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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