dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
