and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
