We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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