guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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