ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize