OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
