why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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