I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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