I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
