I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
