I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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