whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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