she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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