We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize