I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
