The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
