I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
