The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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