A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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