can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
it's like iHOP with fire
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
