May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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