best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Everything about him screamed your future.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
