I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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