when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
