At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
