That's when you crack a 10am beer
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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