i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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