before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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