dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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