I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
