I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
