so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
