After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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