something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
