she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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