Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
