I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize