I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
