I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
