google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
