My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
