You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
