I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
