Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
