he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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