Redeem this text for a blowjob
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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