Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
