I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
