Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
