If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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