So drunk its hurt
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
