why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
