All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
