and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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