If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize