Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
