Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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