There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
