is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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