And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
