i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
