her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
